Remembering is an act of resurrection, each repetition a vital layer of mourning, in memory of those we are sure to meet again. ~Nancy Cobb
I wanted to write something about you today. It is Mother's Day already, and I am sitting here, crying. I miss you. I miss you, but I understand that you are happy now. You're not hurting anymore, and that gives me a sense of peace. There have been times when I was angry at you. Yes, I was angry that you left Jayle when she was so little. That you didn't think about her before you ended your life. I wanted you to think about her, the way I thought about you. I could never end my life because if I had, I would've never been able to see you again. The thought of seeing you again kept me alive.
Today, I understand why you did what you did. It took me a long time, but I understand. And I love you. Like I told you once, a mother's love is forever.
It has been hard coping with your death, I thought I was going to die myself when they gave me the news. I became a zombie, and for a long time, I watched the door hoping to see you come in. I used to talk to you every day like you were still here. And it helped. And watching your baby's face helped. But then again, I had to watch as they took her away to her father's house. I have not seen her after that. I have prayed every single day for her, and I know the angels are there, protecting her. And I also know that everything is going to be alright. I will see her again, just like I will see you again. Sweet angel of mine, I love you so much! I will miss you forever, my child. And, for some reason, I know you know that.