Saturday, April 16, 2011

A mother’s words... (March 2008)

"To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die" ~ Thomas Campbell
There are two dates I will never forget as long as I live:  May 8, 1983 and July 17, 2005... on the first date, my youngest child, Getzia came into my life.  I did not see her come into the world, as she came via C-section.  The second date was when she exited this world, and I also didn't get to see her or say goodbye: she died by suicide.

We didn't have the best of relationships, but we loved each other.  I know she was hurting inside, and I wanted more than anything to take her pain away, to make it better for her, but she was not the kind to open up too easily.  When she did, she'd rather confide on other people most of the time.  She very seldom spoke to me about what bothered her.  She kept most of it inside, but a mother knows.  I know she is not hurting anymore and that brings me a little bit of peace.

God works in mysterious ways, for she left me a beautiful baby girl, and although she is also not at my side right now, I know she will be very soon.  I have faith that God knows what He's doing, and everything is going to work out for the best.

The pain of losing a child is something that never goes away.  Somebody told me once that we are not supposed to bury our children, they are supposed to bury us.  In my case, I had to do what I never thought I would.

My life was changed forever both when she came into it, and when she departed...

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