Thursday, October 27, 2011

Your baby Jayleanna's birthday

My angel Getzia and baby Jayleanna


She was born today... 4 days before Halloweeen... 9 years ago.  I remember being there with you to welcome her into the world.  She was a tiny 5 pound 9 ounce little thing... and you were only 6 pounds when you were born!

As I sit here, I think about you and her... my little princess.  I miss both of you at this moment, but I know I will see you again one day, and I will see Jayle when I go to RI...

I hope and pray she is okay today and always and that she had a wonderful birthday...  when I get to talk to her, I will tell her how much I love her.  But I pray she knows it in her heart of hearts.

I got to talk to her today... at 6:23 pm... turns out I had left a text for her dad and another for her stepmother... Jayle called me from her stepmother's phone... I am so grateful for being able to hear her voice and say happy birthday to her...  I am so, so grateful! Thank you!
 
I love you, Jayle!
Happy Birthday, my sweet girl!
 ┌iiiii┐
 ❤️  ❤️  ❤️

Sunday, July 17, 2011

On your angelversary (7/17/11)

 

•✤❥✤❥✤❥✤❥•

As you hold me close in memory,
even though we are apart,
my spirit will live on,
there within your heart .
I am with you always.


•✤❥✤❥✤❥✤❥•


When you lean on trusted friends
and their caring hugs enfold you,
within their loving arms,
I'll be there to hold you.
I am with you always.
And beyond the far horizon
when we'll finally be together,
where love will be eternal
and life will last forever.
I am with you always.


•✤❥✤❥✤❥✤❥•

Thursday, June 9, 2011

A short message for you



I am sorting through my Jayle's pictures today.  Wanted to post them out so that the world can see how beautiful your little girl is, and how much she has grown.  She just resembles you so!  I am so proud of the little woman she has become.  So this little proud grandma will post her pictures into Facebook, and will continue doing so because it brings me comfort and I am so grateful to have been given such a wonderful gift.  To have a part of you growing up around us as a loving reminder of you, my precious child... 

♥«´¨`•°❤️.❤️°•´¨`»♥ 

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Precious Daughter

❤•´ *`•.❤

I Wish I Could See You One More Time
 Come Walking Through My Door 
But, I Know That Is Impossible
 I Will Hear Your Voice No More
 I Know You Can Feel My Tears
 And You Don’t Want Me To Cry Yet, 
My Heart Is Broken Because I Can’t Understand
Why Someone So Precious Had To Die
 I Pray That God Will Give Me Strength
 And Somehow Get Me Through
 As I Struggle With This Heartache
 That Was Caused By Losing You

This Poem was written by:  Teresa Shelton Bright, used with permission from the author.

❤•´ *`•.❤

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Mother's Day 2011



I am writing the day after Mother's Day and your birthday.  Sorry baby, I didn't have the strength to do it yesterday.  I was so sad that I couldn't even muster the strength to type anything. I was surrounded by people most of the afternoon, but could feel that familiar emptiness in my heart.  So I wrote last night before going to bed, but had a computer malfunction and lost everything.  It is just as well, because what I wrote was too sad.  I miss you: there are times that I still think how I would've given the last drop of my blood for you if you needed it.  I would've done anything to stop the pain, but you are gone, and the pain is gone.  You are finally at peace.   It is comforting to know that, my angel.
I was also sad that I didn't get to see your baby yesterday, so I called her on the phone today just to hear her voice.  And her voice echoes your voice... and I felt so happy!  After I finished, I went to my little altar in my room, where I have your picture and hers, and I cried.  I know you don't want to see me sad.  I am okay, baby.  I will go on living, but I will miss you forever.  I love you, my child...

Saturday, April 30, 2011

You are not alone





Somebody hears you
when you think you are alone
somebody listens to tears,
puts a song in your inner moan.
Somebody is grieving with you
as you release all that pain;
somebody will comfort you,
if you will feel the peaceful rain.
Somebody does not care
if you name it Angel or Spirit
or Ancestor or Grandmother:
if you are crying, somebody will hear it.
On those days of darkness
when you wear a blanket blue
somebody was always there
protecting that which is you.
I know your road is taking some rugged turns
and the pebbles have become boulders:
I just need you to know, You Are Not Alone.

⊱✿•༻.•´✿ ⊱✿•༻.•´✿


Two days ago I received a message from heaven. I went to YouTube looking for angel videos to post on your page on Facebook like I always do. While I was searching, this specific video popped out at me. It is a video by my Facebook friend, Anayah Holily, who runs a website and radio show where guests come in and talk about various issues, most particularly about angels. To my surprise, in this specific video,  "Message from Heaven Angel Card", she talks about her particular experience with angels, but after she does that, I felt she was talking directly to me. I felt a familiar warmth come over me, and a knot on my throat. Her voice was so sweet and relaxing while she talked! I felt my daughter's presence, reassuring me that she is okay, at the time that Anayah was saying those exact words... I continue to listen, as if glued to the screen, and I looked through the window and said "thank you"... I also said "I love you" to my daughter, and I could feel her love as well. My heart was overflowing with gratitude and a sense of peace came over me. I just sat there, amazed at what had just happened to me, while still feeling that warmth, that light surrounding me... I felt like I was being hugged by the light... I sent Anayah a message, as a testimony of gratitude, explaining what had just happened to me, and she was so happy to hear that! She wrote me a beautiful message back. What a wonderful human being this lady is. She truly is a human angel.


Words are not enough to express my love and gratitude for this amazing and incredible blessing that has been bestowed upon me: to learn that my daughter is okay, that she is at peace in heaven! I have spent the last five years of my life trying to live without her. I seek comfort in her memories, and my faith keeps me going. To have her daughter near me is also a great source of comfort, especially when she is growing up so beautifully and resembling her mother so much!


Another source of comfort during all this time has been the belief that her pain is gone; that she is not hurting anymore and that she is at peace. These thoughts kept me going for the longest time--and to get the confirmation at this time, just a few months short of her sixth anniversary makes a whole world of a difference to me. It gives me clarity and focus on my loving endeavor to keep her memory alive. It helps in some way to heal my wounded mother's heart. The heart that has been so empty, like someone opened my chest and took a big chunk from it the day I heard my son Dennis give me the news that my baby Getzia had passed away...


⊱✿•༻.•´✿ ⊱✿•༻.•´✿



Saturday, April 23, 2011

In the Light





A shadow of joy flickered; it is me.
I told you I wouldn't leave.
My spirit is with you.
My memories, my thoughts are
imbedded deep in your heart.
I still love you. 
 Do not for one moment think
that you have been abandoned.
I am in the Light.

In the corner,
in the hall,
the car,
the yard --
these are the places I stay with you.
 My spirit rises every time you pray for me,
but my energy comes closer to you.
Love does not diminish,
it grows stronger.

I am the feather that finds you in the yard,
the dimmed light that grows brighter
in your mind, 
 I place our memories for you to see.
We lived in our special way,
a way that now has its focus changed.

I still crave your understanding and
long for the many words of prayer
and good fortune for my soul.
I am in the Light.
As you struggle to adjust without me,
I watch silently.
Sometimes I summon up all the strength
of my new world
to make you notice me.
Impressed by your grief,
I try to impress my love
deeper into your consciousness.

As you should,
I call out to the Heavens for help.
You should know that the fountain of youth
does exist.

My soul is now healthy.
Your love sends me a new found energy.
I am adjusting to this new world.
I am with you and I am in the Light.

Please don't feel bad that you can't see me.
I am with you wherever you go.
I protect you,
just as you protected me so many times.

Talk to me and somehow I will
find a way to answer you.
Mother, father, son, or daughter
it makes no difference.
Brother, sister, lover,
husband or wife, it makes no difference.

Whatever our connection-friend or even foe-
I see you in my new eyes.
I am learning to help wherever you are,
where ever I am needed.
This can be done because I am in the Light.
When you feel despair, reach out to me.
I will come.

Our love for you truly does
transcend from Heaven to Earth.
Finish your life with the enthusiasm and zest
that you had when we were together
in the physical sense.
You owe this to me, but more importantly,
you owe it to yourself.

Life continues for both of us.
I am with you because I love you
and I am in the Light.

(author unknown)

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

On a Saturday morning...




I am sitting at my kitchen table with your baby Jayle... well, not exactly a baby anymore, lol   She's already a grown 8-year-old, too tall for her age and beautiful just like you.   I know I've said this so many times, but she reminds me more and more of you every day... she is constantly humming songs, just like you used to do... in everything she does, she sings with her little voice... even making up lyrics as she goes along.  I just have to stop and listen in amazement.  My little drop of Getzia-more and more like you every day!  

Don't worry... I have already explained to her that she is her own person and that I always say that she looks just like you because it's true.  And she is so smart and she understands... She asks a lot of questions about her mother.  She loves to look at pictures and also loves when I tell her stories about my kids growing up, especially about her mother.  And, of course, she completely loves to hear about when she was born, and when she was a baby... 

I had a dream last night: lately, my dreams about you are about you being younger, for some reason.  I always see you just like you were.  And you look happy in my dreams.  That makes me happy...

Well, in this dream I saw you in your little nightgown; the one I remember the most, with pink sleeves and white in front, with a cartoon picture in front.  Can't remember exactly what the picture was, I think it was "Popples", not sure... lol    Well, in the dream you were walking away from me, and I asked you where you were going, and you didn't answer... then you looked at me, and it was Jayle's face...  then you started walking towards the house, and it was your face again.   Only the face changing, not the body... interesting, isn't it?

It's raining outside today... Jayle is not too happy, because she wanted to go walking with grandma today... I told her that she is going shopping with titi Nadya... the thought of shopping sort of made her smile.  She knows she's getting something to wear for Easter Sunday... 

And so my life goes on.  Without your physical presence, yet you are present in every one of my thoughts, dreams, and your child.  In everything about her... 

This makes me very happy.  I will forever have a part of you with me, to bring me comfort and keep me going.  I am grateful for the gift of you.   I love you, my precious angel!

❤️ ❤️ ❤️




Friday, April 22, 2011

Mom And Her Children

Getzia R.I.P., Mom, Nadya and Dennis, 1999



This picture is the last one I have of the four of us... it was taken on Thanksgiving Day, 1999 at a friend's house. We used to get together at this house a lot; those were happy times when we went out clubbing together: mom and her kids... it felt good to take this picture, although my Nadya had an attitude... lol 

Although you are now missing from the picture in physical form, you are always with us. And we will see you again someday.  Until then, we miss and love you, my angel. 

~Mom
❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Angel Blessing




"Angels around us, angels beside us, angels within us. Angels are watching over you when times are good or stressed. Their wings wrap gently around you, whispering you are loved and blessed."  - Angel Blessing


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❤️ ❤️ ❤️