Musings

 I know it is the middle of August more or less.  Another birthday passed in May 8th.. another year without you, July 17... and your baby Jayleanna will turn 18 this October 27.  And somehow, it feels like it was only yesterday that you were still here... and no matter how much time has passed, the pain is still the same; the pain never ends.  I have just used as my fuel to go on, I have learned to live with it in a way I never knew I would ever have to.  I am getting older, and you will never see old age.  You are a beautiful spirit now.

I still talk to you, I still see glimpses of you... I know you are in the spirit world now, but you walk with me every day.  I feel you.  I smell your perfume in the air still.  I hear your voice... I laugh at the things you used to say, and get sad at the things that transpired when we argued... I am thankful that I carried you within me and grateful to have known you.  You were unique and special in every way, my angel.  And I will miss and love you for the rest of my life here on earth.  And, knowing I will see you again one day makes the wait even more special.   Until then, I will keep on loving you...

-Mommy