Saturday, April 30, 2011

You are not alone





Somebody hears you
when you think you are alone
somebody listens to tears,
puts a song in your inner moan.
Somebody is grieving with you
as you release all that pain;
somebody will comfort you,
if you will feel the peaceful rain.
Somebody does not care
if you name it Angel or Spirit
or Ancestor or Grandmother:
if you are crying, somebody will hear it.
On those days of darkness
when you wear a blanket blue
somebody was always there
protecting that which is you.
I know your road is taking some rugged turns
and the pebbles have become boulders:
I just need you to know, You Are Not Alone.

⊱✿•༻.•´✿ ⊱✿•༻.•´✿


Two days ago I received a message from heaven. I went to YouTube looking for angel videos to post on your page on Facebook like I always do. While I was searching, this specific video popped out at me. It is a video by my Facebook friend, Anayah Holily, who runs a website and radio show where guests come in and talk about various issues, most particularly about angels. To my surprise, in this specific video,  "Message from Heaven Angel Card", she talks about her particular experience with angels, but after she does that, I felt she was talking directly to me. I felt a familiar warmth come over me, and a knot on my throat. Her voice was so sweet and relaxing while she talked! I felt my daughter's presence, reassuring me that she is okay, at the time that Anayah was saying those exact words... I continue to listen, as if glued to the screen, and I looked through the window and said "thank you"... I also said "I love you" to my daughter, and I could feel her love as well. My heart was overflowing with gratitude and a sense of peace came over me. I just sat there, amazed at what had just happened to me, while still feeling that warmth, that light surrounding me... I felt like I was being hugged by the light... I sent Anayah a message, as a testimony of gratitude, explaining what had just happened to me, and she was so happy to hear that! She wrote me a beautiful message back. What a wonderful human being this lady is. She truly is a human angel.


Words are not enough to express my love and gratitude for this amazing and incredible blessing that has been bestowed upon me: to learn that my daughter is okay, that she is at peace in heaven! I have spent the last five years of my life trying to live without her. I seek comfort in her memories, and my faith keeps me going. To have her daughter near me is also a great source of comfort, especially when she is growing up so beautifully and resembling her mother so much!


Another source of comfort during all this time has been the belief that her pain is gone; that she is not hurting anymore and that she is at peace. These thoughts kept me going for the longest time--and to get the confirmation at this time, just a few months short of her sixth anniversary makes a whole world of a difference to me. It gives me clarity and focus on my loving endeavor to keep her memory alive. It helps in some way to heal my wounded mother's heart. The heart that has been so empty, like someone opened my chest and took a big chunk from it the day I heard my son Dennis give me the news that my baby Getzia had passed away...


⊱✿•༻.•´✿ ⊱✿•༻.•´✿



Saturday, April 23, 2011

In the Light





A shadow of joy flickered; it is me.
I told you I wouldn't leave.
My spirit is with you.
My memories, my thoughts are
imbedded deep in your heart.
I still love you. 
 Do not for one moment think
that you have been abandoned.
I am in the Light.

In the corner,
in the hall,
the car,
the yard --
these are the places I stay with you.
 My spirit rises every time you pray for me,
but my energy comes closer to you.
Love does not diminish,
it grows stronger.

I am the feather that finds you in the yard,
the dimmed light that grows brighter
in your mind, 
 I place our memories for you to see.
We lived in our special way,
a way that now has its focus changed.

I still crave your understanding and
long for the many words of prayer
and good fortune for my soul.
I am in the Light.
As you struggle to adjust without me,
I watch silently.
Sometimes I summon up all the strength
of my new world
to make you notice me.
Impressed by your grief,
I try to impress my love
deeper into your consciousness.

As you should,
I call out to the Heavens for help.
You should know that the fountain of youth
does exist.

My soul is now healthy.
Your love sends me a new found energy.
I am adjusting to this new world.
I am with you and I am in the Light.

Please don't feel bad that you can't see me.
I am with you wherever you go.
I protect you,
just as you protected me so many times.

Talk to me and somehow I will
find a way to answer you.
Mother, father, son, or daughter
it makes no difference.
Brother, sister, lover,
husband or wife, it makes no difference.

Whatever our connection-friend or even foe-
I see you in my new eyes.
I am learning to help wherever you are,
where ever I am needed.
This can be done because I am in the Light.
When you feel despair, reach out to me.
I will come.

Our love for you truly does
transcend from Heaven to Earth.
Finish your life with the enthusiasm and zest
that you had when we were together
in the physical sense.
You owe this to me, but more importantly,
you owe it to yourself.

Life continues for both of us.
I am with you because I love you
and I am in the Light.

(author unknown)

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

On a Saturday morning...




I am sitting at my kitchen table with your baby Jayle... well, not exactly a baby anymore, lol   She's already a grown 8-year-old, too tall for her age and beautiful just like you.   I know I've said this so many times, but she reminds me more and more of you every day... she is constantly humming songs, just like you used to do... in everything she does, she sings with her little voice... even making up lyrics as she goes along.  I just have to stop and listen in amazement.  My little drop of Getzia-more and more like you every day!  

Don't worry... I have already explained to her that she is her own person and that I always say that she looks just like you because it's true.  And she is so smart and she understands... She asks a lot of questions about her mother.  She loves to look at pictures and also loves when I tell her stories about my kids growing up, especially about her mother.  And, of course, she completely loves to hear about when she was born, and when she was a baby... 

I had a dream last night: lately, my dreams about you are about you being younger, for some reason.  I always see you just like you were.  And you look happy in my dreams.  That makes me happy...

Well, in this dream I saw you in your little nightgown; the one I remember the most, with pink sleeves and white in front, with a cartoon picture in front.  Can't remember exactly what the picture was, I think it was "Popples", not sure... lol    Well, in the dream you were walking away from me, and I asked you where you were going, and you didn't answer... then you looked at me, and it was Jayle's face...  then you started walking towards the house, and it was your face again.   Only the face changing, not the body... interesting, isn't it?

It's raining outside today... Jayle is not too happy, because she wanted to go walking with grandma today... I told her that she is going shopping with titi Nadya... the thought of shopping sort of made her smile.  She knows she's getting something to wear for Easter Sunday... 

And so my life goes on.  Without your physical presence, yet you are present in every one of my thoughts, dreams, and your child.  In everything about her... 

This makes me very happy.  I will forever have a part of you with me, to bring me comfort and keep me going.  I am grateful for the gift of you.   I love you, my precious angel!

❤️ ❤️ ❤️




Friday, April 22, 2011

Mom And Her Children

Getzia R.I.P., Mom, Nadya and Dennis, 1999



This picture is the last one I have of the four of us... it was taken on Thanksgiving Day, 1999 at a friend's house. We used to get together at this house a lot; those were happy times when we went out clubbing together: mom and her kids... it felt good to take this picture, although my Nadya had an attitude... lol 

Although you are now missing from the picture in physical form, you are always with us. And we will see you again someday.  Until then, we miss and love you, my angel. 

~Mom
❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Angel Blessing




"Angels around us, angels beside us, angels within us. Angels are watching over you when times are good or stressed. Their wings wrap gently around you, whispering you are loved and blessed."  - Angel Blessing


 ..* ( \(_)/ ) *..
*.. (_ /|\ _) ..*
.* .   /___\   . *.
❤️ ❤️ ❤️

My little drop of Getzia...


Miss Jayleanna (Jayle) Sanchez, my beautiful first granddaughter, and my angel Getzia's child.  She resembles her mother more and more every day.  That's why she is "my little drop of Getzia..."



Yesterday I had my children and grandchildren together.  Nothing planned, it just happened like that, spur of the moment, kind of thing... it felt wonderful to be sitting at my kitchen table, listening to both Dennis and Nadya, talking about music like they always do.  I just looked at them and smiled, while my little Arianna was walking all over the house, playing with toys and exploring with her amazing two-year-old curiosity... It sure feels like you are here all over again when this happens.  I can hear your laughter, especially when Dennis used to tickle you or whatever he used to do, and you screamed, and he burst out laughing...  And you are in every conversation, especially when we look at your baby, Jayleanna, who has been staying all week for Spring Break.  It was such a wonderful surprise when she opened the door and announced her presence the other day!  She comes in always and yells, "Hi, grandma!"  and I jump and run to her, hugging her and laughing, so grateful to see her again!   She just hugs me back and smiles...

My little drop of Getzia... that's what I call her.  My miracle baby, who almost wasn't born... but the Universe had other plans for this child.  And when you went up to heaven, I had her to remind me of you every second of my life.  She is so much like you!  Not only is she beautiful and smart and vivacious, but she also has every single gesture, expression, and mannerism that she inherited from you... Her voice is your voice when you were her age.  Like you, she was a very small baby who grew up tall and beautiful.  She is only eight years old, and already almost 5 feet tall... pretty soon she will outgrow me.  I can only imagine when she gets older and would have to look down at little grandma... I tell her this, and she smiles:   she is always smiling just like you and me... just like all of us... You all inherited that from me, I remind myself proudly.

Jayle and I are always laughing... always sharing something... I love when we lay down on my bed and share jokes and stories, and we just laugh and laugh together... like today, when I was in pain with a sudden fever, and she laid next to me and made me laugh until my stomach hurt and I felt so much better... and she just lays there with me... always touching my hands or my arms and telling me that my skin is very soft... and I touch her face and tell her that her skin is soft too... and that she's beautiful, just like you!  My little drop of Getzia... 

 ðŸ’•💕 💕💕 💕💕

Monday, April 18, 2011

A Mother's Love - Forever in My Heart


❤️ ❤️ ❤️


Right now I'm in a different place 
And though we seem apart 
I'm closer than I ever was 
... I'm there inside your heart

I'm with you when you greet each day
And while the sun shines bright
I'm here to share the sunsets, too
... I'm with you every night

I'm with you when the times are good
To share a laugh or two,
And if a tear should start to fall
... I'll still be there for you

And when that day arrives
That we no longer are apart,
I'll smile and hold you close to me
... Forever in my heart...


❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Seasons Of Grief





Spring
We that are in the spring of our grief
Our days grow brighter and warm
We are amazed at the renewal of our souls
Our faith is like the new buds, and spring flowers
It waits to explode forth
To bring new color into our souls


Summer
We that are in the summer of our grief
We look in wonder at our renewal
It's like the new green grass
The leaves upon the trees
The sun shines down upon us
It brings warmth to our souls
We are splashed in the glorious warmth
Our hope is restored


Fall
We that are in the fall of our grief
It is crisp, like the autumn wind
We watch grief fall upon us
Like the autumn leaves that fall to the ground
Our days grow longer
We experience the pain of loss

Winter
We that are in the winter of our grief
It is cold, and dark, and bleak
We wonder if we will ever feel warm again
Our days are short, and nights, lonely and long
We pray for warmth again

 by: Deborah Long 



❤️ ❤️ ❤️


My Mom Is A Survivor




one of my daughter's own drawings... I call it "One eye"...  she used to hide one eye from me at times, and I thought the drawing does so appropriately explains it. -Mom



My Mom is a survivor,
or so I've heard it said.
But I can hear her crying at night
when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night
and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her
to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach
that never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mom,
who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others...
a smile of disguise!
But through Heaven's door, I see
tears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with the death
to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows
it is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom
through Heaven's open door...
I try to tell her that angels
protect me forevermore.
I know that doesn't help her...
or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her...
and show her that you care.
For no matter what she says...
no matter what she feels.
My surviving mom has a broken heart
that time won't ever heal. 

(By Kaye Des'Ormeaux
October 15, 1998
Dedicated to the mothers who have
lost a child & have somehow survived.)


❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Dear Mommy (A poem)



my angel Getzia: beautiful always...


When you wonder about the meaning of life and love
Know that I am with you.
Close your eyes and feel me kissing you
In the gentle breeze across your cheek.
When you begin to doubt
that you shall ever see me again,
Quiet your mind and hear me.
I am in the whisper of the heavens
Speaking of your love.
When you lose your identity,
When you question who you are,
and where you are going,
Open your heart and see me.
I am the twinkle in the stars
smiling down upon you,
Lighting the path for your journey.
When you awaken each morning
not remembering your dreams,
But feeling content and serene
Know that I am with you
Filling your nights with thoughts of me.
When you linger in the remnant pain,
Wholeness seeming so unfamiliar,
Think of me.
Know that I am with you
Touching you through shared tears
of a gentle friend
Easing the pain.
As the sunrise illuminates the desert sky
In that breathtaking brilliance,
awaken your spirit.
Think of our time together,
all too brief, but ever brilliant.
When you are certain of us together,
When you are certain of your destiny,
Know that God created that moment
in time, just for us.
I am with you always.

 (c) 1997 by Joanne Cacciatore,
excerpt from 'Dear Cheyenne'
used with permission


❤️ ❤️ ❤️